Baby
You
Are
Perfect.
I
Want
You
For
So
Long.
Don't
Leave
Me.
But
If
You
Already
Stop
Loving
Me.
There's
Nothing
I
Can
Do
About
It.
I
Would
Leave
If
You
Want
Me
To
Do
So.
Tell
Me
If
You
Need
Me.
But
When
The
Feeling
Is
Already
Gone,
Don't
Blame
On
Me.
It
Is
You
Who
Let
Me
Go.
Iloveyou.

How's 2013 hit my life?

Hello x

Now I see those my favorite people which I make a special list for em' because I like em' are no more exist. I can tell by their eyes that they are actually be here for me with no good reasons. They seems like wanted to leave right after they have what they want. Now, just like I thought, it was true then. I was so fooled, so easy get attached with someone that are actually be clingy for some reasons. I mean this is general. Friends and boyfriend. The boyfriend that are lately act so differently , I don't know whether he stop showing his love or it is me the problem is. I just don't get it clearly. What's the vision and what's the message he wants to tell me through his action.

We are in the middle of October already, how time flies so fast, just feel like yesterday is like 1st January of 2013. What am I doing here? Just me that show some effort because I want to keep them still in my life. But they don't. Happy days can counting just by my fingers, but sad days are like uncountable. I don't know what I want. What to do.

Hola people x

This is just a confirmation update that I am actually still here. Quite busy with study and final just around the corner. I'll be back at 13th Oct and seems like I have another a week to mess around and makes my stability of hormones ruins everytime people at here in my colege are rushing like a bullshit. Everybody should calm their tits I guess so. Hm, I'm gonna update soon with very interesting entry and it may be one of your favourite reading materials from now on. Ha ha ha.       

I take this as a opportunity to write a note to my only one. This is like a space that are always open and welcome me to write and express anything that i felt............blank. I love you. I miss you.

9:18pm

'' Admit that one of your ex still right there in your heart 

and you still remember the memories he/she left. The scars

still remain x ''  

HK'S

Prosa Diri 2:33am (11/7/2013) Second Day Of Ramadhan

Aku ada tabiat, aku susah sangat nak tidur awal, suka nak tidur lewat . Time malam malam macam ni la aku selalu terfikir semua benda dalam hidup ini. Semua pekara aku buat dalam hidup . Bermacam soalan dalam kepala otak aku ini. Kadang kadang rasa berdosa sangat dengan manusia, ibubapa aku , kawan kawan , sepupu,adik beradik aku,orang sekeliling aku orang yang aku sayang dan semua orang. Aku selalu fikir kenapa manusia perlu mati. Aku tak nak lihat pun ibubapa aku adik beradik aku sepupu aku semua orang mati tapi itu semua kerja tuhan. Aku rasa berdosa dengan Allah dengan ibubapa aku, aku tak pernah dengar cakap menyusahkan sedih jugak fikir balik. Bukan senang mereka cari duit buat kita pagi petang siang malam, dapat pulak shift malam. lepas tu aku menyusahkan mereka,rasa berdosa sangat. Kita hidup mewah mengeluh sikit sikit penat tapi mereka hm bersusah payah. Kenapa perlu rasa kehilanggan orang yang kita sayang, aku risau sangat aku tak boleh menhadapi nya sebab aku tak pernah rasa dan aku tak nak rasa pun . hm Sedih sangat malam malam kalau lewat aku suka terfikir bukan aku nak fikir tapi terlintas,aku cuba tolak fikiran ini tapi tak boleh. Aku benci fikiran ini. Dosa kepada mak aku abah aku, semua orang. Aku tak reti hargai sesuatu. Aku rasa berdosa,jahil dalam semua perkara. Kalau boleh aku nak semua orang tak boleh membesar, biar semua orang kekal macam ni tapi hm berapa lama sangat kita nak hidup. kenapa kita perlu hidup? Menuju ke syurga yang belum aku pasti boleh hidu baunya. Umur aku sekarang dah 18belas tahun pun aku rasa dah tua. sekejap sangat masa berlalu. Aku tak buat apa apa yang boleh dibanggakan dalam hidup ini. Aku tak berbakat,aku tak pandai dalam pelajaran,aku tak ada kemahiran,aku tak pandai sukan sekali pun. Aku sebenarnya tak ada apa special thing dalam diri. Aku kosong. Sedih masa berlalu sungguh cepat. ibubapa aku semakin bertambah umur. Aku sayang sangat mak aku , sayang sangat sangat mak aku. Aku suka complain macam macam mintak duit sana sini. Aku memang tak matang. Sayu aku lihat mereka. Abah aku aku selalu bertengkar dengan ayah aku, aku berdosa sangat sedangkan ayah aku bersusah susah malam malam cari duit, berkerja. Ayah aku beli kereta,moto suruh naik. bagi dekat aku tapi aku tak nak pun. kalau aku naik ayah aku nak naik apa bila hujan pergi kerja? Hm jahil sungguh aku banyak sungguh dosa aku,tak terkira rasa hina disisi Allah, aku malu nak mintak maaf dengan ibubapa aku kadang kadang. aku cuma reti tunjuk ja. malam malam kalau dapur,pinggan kotor banyak aku akan basuh sebab kesian kat ibu aku penat buat kerja,dengan tak ada sapa tolong. ayah aku aku tak bantu apa pun, kenapa la aku permalas?pentingkan diri? Banyak dosa aku.

1:54AM ( 6.7.13 )

Jangan ikut hati nanti merana gunakan hati dengan akal baru terlaksana

So tommorow is the day.

Goodluck for me ~

Don't forget to smile. Tommorow is the last day ever entah bila lagi jumpa kawan sekolah.

And bila tahun lagi boleh jumpa budak tu. Hehe.

Lol smilling like idiot right now. No no. Smirking sound much better.

Ya Allah gatalnya aku.

sakinah

saya sayang nur sakinah amina

Down.

No one could comprehend every single pain I experience. They simply come and go from your life. I realize that my stupidity level exceed the limit. A verih maximum level. I let people come and entering my life  and I let them break my heart into a single piece of shit, I let them make a fake promise that they will be with me through bad and good. But no. Boyfriend leave, friends leave...everyone leave. Hmm. Too many painful of life that I cannot bear each of it, I just can't. They gone but they leave me a piece of their shit still in me. Cruel people in the cruel world. I'm dying deep inside..slowly. You remember I'm the one that loved you with my entire heart , I accepted you for who you are, I'm the one that will always love you no matter how hard were you treat me. And I am the one who loved every single of your flaw. Do you remember that? Maybe I'm too clingy all this time , maybe you know that I love you too much , maybe you know that I won't leave you so that is why you have enough courage to do anything , you fooled me. That's it. So from now, I take this as a lessons to move on. Life is amazing..beautiful same as love. If it's good then it's wonderful, if it's bad then it's experience. Enough, I won't let anybody ruin my life. I do not take order from anyone and lemme take charge. 

No grudge, just love ~ x

IMISSYOU BABY

I know you're somewhere out there
Somewhere far away
I want you back
My neighbors think
I'm crazy
But they don't understand
You're all I had

At night when the stars
Light up my room
I sit by myself
Talking to the Moon.
Trying to get to You
In hopes you're on
The other side
Talking to me too.
Or Am I a fool
Who sits alone
Talking to the moon?

I'm feeling like
I'm famous
The talk of the town
They say
I've gone mad
But they don't know
What I know
Cause when the
Sun goes down
Someone's talking back
They're talking back

#Pain4

#Pain3

I am just another needy girl that makes every guy drifted away slowly from my life. That's really hurting me inside when someone that you love struggle really hard to be with you but once he already in there with you he slowly pulled himself out of your life. I better off stop caring about people. I better off stop everything. He didn't show any effort that he loves me. I gotta go my own way. I'm leaving~

I ought stop dreaming and start believing that he's not mine anymore. x

#Pain2

I'm sorry for pushed you away before. I want you to know that I push every guy away. Not because I don't like you or need you either. But it just that the memories of me and him still here with me. I just noticed that my life been surrounded by memories. But I still wanna thanked you. Again , I remind you people like me is not a worthy stuff to keep especially to be part of your life. I'm not that good like you thought. I prefer to be alone right now. The purpose of this post is I want to urge you to stop trying. It won't work between you and me. 

He still wins in everything. Hakim's shadow still there in my darkness. Eventhough he's already gone. Eventhough we had over. But that doesn't mean I simply can accept you and let you replace him. x