Im sorry for everything. I act like a bullshit, I talk like a rubish that's because I feel so so not comfortable around you. The guilty , the horrible feeling is all in one and haunting me for not to stay with you anymore. It's like I have to stay away from you I mean just for a while sayang. Im sorry for make a stupid decision ever, I was unfaithful to you. I was like cheating on you. This is so bad for girl like me doing this to you. The one that never get into this problem. The one that never be in love before. I shouldn't treat you like this. I shouldn't be so selfish after all. You are right, same thing had happened in my past. I always keep repeating the same mistakes. I never want to realize it. I keep doing the same thing instead of try to understand you how would it be if Im at your place. Im so sorry. It's hard for me to get back my old one, I mean the old you. Hard for me to gain your belief, and everything.
This is going to take a long time. A very long time to back at normal. Ater the incident.. you scold me, you insults me curses at me that just make me so unwanted. Make me feel like you don't even need me anymore like you already got the best one replace me. Well I pray for you one. When I look myself in the mirror , you know what it feels like? First thing. I am so so regret for giving you all my love and everything. Emm , don't know if you got it or not what I mean. Second. How can you love a bitch like me. For the first time I label myself a bitch , well not a whore yet right. Looking at you, right into your eyes y'know what I think? You are the best man in my life that don't even deserve me. I mean you are too best to me. How can I let you fall at the first place.
Just please don't mad at me sayang. You know I love you so much , I am madly in love with you. Gimme some space. Don't worry I wont hurt myself ;) Maybe just a bit to make me feel good. I just love the way to make me feel good by hurting myself slowly.